Author Archives: zebrahope

Hope

I was talking to my brother the other day and two words slipped out of my mouth that I didn’t even realize I felt. It sparked a good conversation, but they’ve been echoing through my head ever since. Hope hurts. I’ve been battling health issues off and on my whole life but consistently for theContinue reading “Hope”

Transparency

I was recently talking with a lady whose life was falling apart.  As we sat there, I listened to the hopelessness in her voice, and it became apparent that she was not a believer.  I tried sharing with her how Christ had always been there for me, even in the darkest of days He’d neverContinue reading “Transparency”

Eyes Forward

I had a dream the other night. I don’t remember any of it other than I was perusing titles of books, one title caught my eye “Looking Ass Forwards.” When I woke up this is all I could remember. After a long night with very little sleep, I was disturbed to say the least. IContinue reading “Eyes Forward”

Perfect Love

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” This is one of my favorite verses but to be honest, it’s always bothered me. I loved the idea of it, but what does fear and love have to do with each other? What exactly does perfect love look like and how canContinue reading “Perfect Love”

Questions

The other night I was relaxing on the couch when I heard things crashing down and my daughter’s cries of distress. The sight that greeted me as I walked into the kitchen was not a pretty one. Megan was standing in front of an open fridge that was now baptized in my coffee. She lookedContinue reading “Questions”

Darkness and Light

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14 I had my first migraine in the spring of 2012. It came out of nowhere and hit me like Wiley Coyote’s anvil. Until weContinue reading “Darkness and Light”

Gratitude

One of my friends has a pet peeve I’ve decided to adopt, and I would like to introduce y’all to it. It’s called a gratitude band aid. Let me give you an example. As you’re carving the turkey this week, you accidentally cut off your finger. You reply, “That’s ok, I’m grateful I still haveContinue reading “Gratitude”

Truth in Love

Our pastor a few years back taught on Ephesians 4:15. It discusses how when we correct each other the truth needs to be spoken in love. With the desire to restore and support the other person. It’s not from a “holier than thou” position, but to come alongside and uphold and help them. Recently I’veContinue reading “Truth in Love”

Peace

There are times God answers prayers so quickly that we are left standing in awe. Then other times we beg for answers and feel like we are met with empty silence. One night recently I woke up unable to move my left arm. Figuring I slept on it wrong and there was just a lackContinue reading “Peace”

Feels

I was talking to my younger brother the other day and he said, “Man, that hit me right in the feels!” I realized I must be getting old because I had no idea what he was talking about. I guess it’s the new hip way to say that it made you emotional, or that itContinue reading “Feels”

Life from Death

My brother recently said something along the lines of, “In our lives we experience many deaths, the death of a dream, the death of a loved one, the death of our youth and our health. We may mourn each of these deaths in our lives but we have to remember that God always seeks to bringContinue reading “Life from Death”

Doubt

“Doubt is not the opposite of faith, sight is.” Our pastor said this a few weeks ago and I’ve been thinking about it since then.  I agree that sight is the opposite of faith. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 But if doubt isn’tContinue reading “Doubt”

Blessings

Someone recently asked me, “What does God want for you?”  Having gone to church my whole life and having had a personal relationship with Christ for over 30 years, I was embarrassed to realize I didn’t have an answer.  I sat there like a deer in the headlights.  I was wracking my brain trying toContinue reading “Blessings”

Broke

I recently had a reader comment about how the title of my page should read “Beautifully Broken” vs broke.  She stated that broke makes it sound like I’m without money.  Vocabulary is not my strong suite, so I was embarrassed to have made such a big mistake.  Broken was the word I wanted to useContinue reading “Broke”

The Body

As someone who lives with chronic pain I’ve found myself asking many times, why pain?  When I was younger my mom read us a book called “The Gift of Pain.”  This was over twenty-five years ago so the details may be fuzzy but I remember being fascinated.  The doctor who wrote the book discussed hisContinue reading “The Body”

Purpose

I’m proud to be an American and a Christian. That being said, I think because of living in the US some of the lines between Christian and American philosophies get blurred.  I’m afraid that we as Christians have unwittingly accepted some American ideologies and weaved them into our foundational believe system.  The American dream isContinue reading “Purpose”

Darkness

Darkness seems to surround us like a heavy blanket.  It seems to be the constant, ever present shadow that hangs over us.  Seems like everyone I talk to is in the fight of their life.  Two of my closest friends have family members that are suicidal and fighting major mental and emotional issues.  One ofContinue reading “Darkness”

Sadness and Joy

“So lay down your burdens, lay down your shame. All who are broken lift up your face. Oh, wanderer, come home. You’re not too far. So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart. Come as you are.” ~ Come As Your Are by Crowder As I sit here this morning drinking coffee, I findContinue reading “Sadness and Joy”

Calm

After a big storm there’s an eerie calm that settles over everything like a comforting blanket. It feels almost dream-like. It goes from chaos, pounding rain, roaring wind, darkness, and being trapped inside the house, to stepping out to feel the warmth of the sun on your face, and complete silence. The crickets, cicadas, frogs,Continue reading “Calm”

Memories

Memories are interesting. When our son was 16 we convinced to go see a counselor. His best friend was the one who sexually molested our daughter and he was dealing with guilt and shame and had started vaping to cope. My husband and I went with him for the first session. The counselor started withContinue reading “Memories”

Guilt

It’s amazing how long the memory of pain can stay with you. I had just dropped my son, Justice, off at a baseball game for pre-game warm ups, when Faith said, ”Silly brother, he just fell off the fence!” I pulled the car back into the parking place and told my daughter to sit andContinue reading “Guilt”

Self-Reliance

So, my husband has been gone now for almost 2 months, or 8 weeks, or 56 days or 1,344 hours….you get the point. It’s been a long time. He had to leave for work and was only supposed to be gone 3-4 weeks but nothing went according to plan, so here I sit counting doneContinue reading “Self-Reliance”

Disturbance

I’ve learned that watching the weather in the South is similar to watching a soap opera. Entering from stage south we have tropical disturbance 99 but little does it know it’s coming into a very hostile atmospheric situation, causing little more than some cloudy skies and some minor rain fall. But wait, what’s this? IsabelContinue reading “Disturbance”

Pause….continued

There’s times in life where we ask God why and are met with nothing but silence. On occasion He decides to graciously lift the vail and reveal just a hint of what He’s accomplishing behind the scenes. I don’t know if I can do this story justice but I have to share the miracle thatContinue reading “Pause….continued”

Pause

As I was sitting here praying about what to write, I received a phone call from the doctor. I just had my first mammogram this week and let me tell you something, those things hurt!!! I’d heard that they were uncomfortable but as my knees buckled from the pain and I was suspended by onlyContinue reading “Pause”

The Future

I can’t believe summer is almost over already! Less than three weeks before school is back in full swing. And to be honest I’m not sure if I’m dreading it or looking forward to the routine again. I think the future always holds a little bit of a bitter sweet appeal to it. I’m gratefulContinue reading “The Future”

God is Bigger

I stumbled across something in the book of Job the other day that left me in awe. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this story it goes something like this… Satan comes before God and innocently states he’s been out roaming the earth, yet we all know “the devil walks about like aContinue reading “God is Bigger”

Cost

This week we took a mini vacation to the beach. I sent these photos to some of my family and friends while I was soaking up the rays and enjoying God’s creation. The responses I got ranged from, “so happy for you” to “I hate you.” Of course the “I hate you” was from myContinue reading “Cost”

Fear

A pastor once said that fear stands for Fake Evidence Appearing Real. Ten days ago my husband and I were rear-ended. My husband had a stiff neck and headaches off and on for awhile but seems to be back to normal. Unfortunately, due to my genetic disorder I don’t bounce back quite as well. TheContinue reading “Fear”

Answers

Back in 2012 I got my first migraine. We were on our way to Disneyland with our kids and out of the blue I was blindsided by a migraine. From that time on I began having what they finally diagnosed as daily persistent headaches with migraines. I had been in and out of the doctor’sContinue reading “Answers”

Vulnerability

I don’t know about you but I’m not a huge fan of vulnerability. My brother encouraged me to read the book “Daring Greatly” which is all about how to be vulnerable and why it’s important. Don’t ask me why but I’ve started reading it. It’s good but has been very challenging. You might think thatContinue reading “Vulnerability”

Parenthood

My sister-in-law and her three kids are here visiting this week. As I watch her with her 2, 5, and 7 year old it made me wonder, what is the hardest stage of parenting? I have an almost 15 year old and a 20 year old so I’m at the opposite end of the spectrumContinue reading “Parenthood”

Depression and Anxiety

If you have ever battled depression and anxiety, you know they are worthy foes. I recently saw this description of them ~ Depression is when you don’t really care about anything. Anxiety is when you care too much about everything. And having both is just like hell. In a previous post I told y’all IContinue reading “Depression and Anxiety”

Is God good?

A friend recently posed this question to me, “Why do you believe that God is still good after all you have been through?” I would say the bigger question for me is, do I really believe God is good? I believe in God, that He’s loving and all powerful, merciful, just, caring…but good? Why isContinue reading “Is God good?”

Struggles

I’ve realized that a lot of times when I’m trying to make sense out of situations in my life writing it down helps me unscramble all the pieces.  So, welcome to my therapy session!  Some areas in my life that I’ve struggled to find balance and direction with are trials, tribulations and discipline.  At firstContinue reading “Struggles”

Invisible

When I was little I tried desperately to not be noticed because if I was noticed I might get in trouble, or even worse I might get pointed out as an example of how to be the “perfect” child making me an enemy to all.  So I made a career out of being invisible thinkingContinue reading “Invisible”

Scars

A friend shared a post with me yesterday that was really good and encouraging. Along with that post the above picture was shown. Immediately I fell in love with it. My friend stated that the photo reminded her of my post where I mentioned my daughter telling me not to hide my scars. I wasContinue reading “Scars”

Perspective

I was thinking this morning about perspective.  When taking photos you can make the viewer see what you want them to.  When buying something online people are really good at making the product look amazing.  For example I bought a pair of decorative columns the other day off the marketplace and had to drive aContinue reading “Perspective”

Even if…

“How do you live with pain all the time?”  This is the question that was recently voiced to me and has been asked in many different forms and variations over the years, and I usually brush it off with my typical, it’s no big deal, I can handle it, it’s a blessing in disguise.  ButContinue reading “Even if…”

Broken

I don’t know how many times in my life I thought I’ve dealt with something only to have it raise its ugly head years later.  I’m starting to realize that we don’t always understand the extent of the damage done at the moment of impact.  For example, we recently experienced hurricane Sally.  It was aContinue reading “Broken”

Ehlers-Danlos

There are so many out there like me that suffer from chronic pain and have fought through and may still be fighting through diagnosis’s and doctors not believing them. This is why I’m sharing my story, to let you know you are not alone and to give you hope to keep fighting.  I wanted toContinue reading “Ehlers-Danlos”

Hulk Smash

How do you sum up forty years of life?  What do you include and leave out?  You might say just tell us the highlights.  In reality the mundane day to day life is what taught me the biggest lessons.  We’ve all read about people who have had that aha moment.  They have fallen on theirContinue reading “Hulk Smash”

Introduction

Have you ever tried to grasp reality only to realize its ever changing?  Like trying to chase a mirage, the closer you think you’re getting to reality the more it changes.  There have been so many times in my life where my reality has been changed, challenged, and completely uprooted.  I don’t handle change veryContinue reading “Introduction”