Calm

After a big storm there’s an eerie calm that settles over everything like a comforting blanket. It feels almost dream-like. It goes from chaos, pounding rain, roaring wind, darkness, and being trapped inside the house, to stepping out to feel the warmth of the sun on your face, and complete silence. The crickets, cicadas, frogs,Continue reading “Calm”

Memories

Memories are interesting. When our son was 16 we convinced to go see a counselor. His best friend was the one who sexually molested our daughter and he was dealing with guilt and shame and had started vaping to cope. My husband and I went with him for the first session. The counselor started withContinue reading “Memories”

Guilt

It’s amazing how long the memory of pain can stay with you. I had just dropped my son, Justice, off at a baseball game for pre-game warm ups, when Faith said, ”Silly brother, he just fell off the fence!” I pulled the car back into the parking place and told my daughter to sit andContinue reading “Guilt”

Self-Reliance

So, my husband has been gone now for almost 2 months, or 8 weeks, or 56 days or 1,344 hours….you get the point. It’s been a long time. He had to leave for work and was only supposed to be gone 3-4 weeks but nothing went according to plan, so here I sit counting doneContinue reading “Self-Reliance”

Pause….continued

There’s times in life where we ask God why and are met with nothing but silence. On occasion He decides to graciously lift the vail and reveal just a hint of what He’s accomplishing behind the scenes. I don’t know if I can do this story justice but I have to share the miracle thatContinue reading “Pause….continued”

Pause

As I was sitting here praying about what to write, I received a phone call from the doctor. I just had my first mammogram this week and let me tell you something, those things hurt!!! I’d heard that they were uncomfortable but as my knees buckled from the pain and I was suspended by onlyContinue reading “Pause”

The Future

I can’t believe summer is almost over already! Less than three weeks before school is back in full swing. And to be honest I’m not sure if I’m dreading it or looking forward to the routine again. I think the future always holds a little bit of a bitter sweet appeal to it. I’m gratefulContinue reading “The Future”

God is Bigger

I stumbled across something in the book of Job the other day that left me in awe. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this story it goes something like this… Satan comes before God and innocently states he’s been out roaming the earth, yet we all know “the devil walks about like aContinue reading “God is Bigger”

Cost

This week we took a mini vacation to the beach. I sent these photos to some of my family and friends while I was soaking up the rays and enjoying God’s creation. The responses I got ranged from, “so happy for you” to “I hate you.” Of course the “I hate you” was from myContinue reading “Cost”

Fear

A pastor once said that fear stands for Fake Evidence Appearing Real. Ten days ago my husband and I were rear-ended. My husband had a stiff neck and headaches off and on for awhile but seems to be back to normal. Unfortunately, due to my genetic disorder I don’t bounce back quite as well. TheContinue reading “Fear”

Answers

Back in 2012 I got my first migraine. We were on our way to Disneyland with our kids and out of the blue I was blindsided by a migraine. Form that time on I began having what they finally diagnosed as daily persistent headaches with migraines. I had been in and out of the doctorsContinue reading “Answers”

Depression and Anxiety

If you have ever battled depression and anxiety, you know they are worthy foes. I recently saw this description of them ~ Depression is when you don’t really care about anything. Anxiety is when you care too much about everything. And having both is just like hell. In a previous post I told y’all IContinue reading “Depression and Anxiety”

Is God good?

A friend recently posed this question to me, “Why do you believe that God is still good after all you have been through?” I would say the bigger question for me is, do I really believe God is good? I believe in God, that He’s loving and all powerful, merciful, just, caring…but good? Why isContinue reading “Is God good?”

Struggles

I’ve realized that a lot of times when I’m trying to make sense out of situations in my life writing it down helps me unscramble all the pieces.  So, welcome to my therapy session!  Some areas in my life that I’ve struggled to find balance and direction with are trials, tribulations and discipline.  At firstContinue reading “Struggles”

Invisible

When I was little I tried desperately to not be noticed because if I was noticed I might get in trouble, or even worse I might get pointed out as an example of how to be the “perfect” child making me an enemy to all.  So I made a career out of being invisible thinkingContinue reading “Invisible”

Scars

A friend shared a post with me yesterday that was really good and encouraging. Along with that post the above picture was shown. Immediately I fell in love with it. My friend stated that the photo reminded her of my post where I mentioned my daughter telling me not to hide my scars. I wasContinue reading “Scars”

Perspective

I was thinking this morning about perspective.  When taking photos you can make the viewer see what you want them to.  When buying something online people are really good at making the product look amazing.  For example I bought a pair of decorative columns the other day off the marketplace and had to drive aContinue reading “Perspective”

Even if…

“How do you live with pain all the time?”  This is the question that was recently voiced to me and has been asked in many different forms and variations over the years, and I usually brush it off with my typical, it’s no big deal, I can handle it, it’s a blessing in disguise.  ButContinue reading “Even if…”

Broken

I don’t know how many times in my life I thought I’ve dealt with something only to have it raise it’s ugly head years later.  I’m starting to realize that we don’t always understand the extent of the damage done at the moment of impact.  For example, we recently experienced hurricane Sally.  It was aContinue reading “Broken”

Ehlers-Danlos

There are so many out there like me that suffer from chronic pain and have fought through and may still be fighting through diagnosis’s and doctors not believing them. This is why I’m sharing my story, to let you know you are not alone and to give you hope to keep fighting.  I wanted toContinue reading “Ehlers-Danlos”

Hulk Smash

How do you sum up forty years of life?  What do you include and leave out?  You might say just tell us the highlights.  In reality the mundane day to day life is what taught me the biggest lessons.  We’ve all read about people who have had that aha moment.  They have fallen on theirContinue reading “Hulk Smash”

Introduction

Have you ever tried to grasp reality only to realize its ever changing?  Like trying to chase a mirage, the closer you think you’re getting to reality the more it changes.  There have been so many times in my life where my reality has been changed, challenged, and completely uprooted.  I don’t handle change veryContinue reading “Introduction”